Como Estas?

Whoa, I've not updated my blog for more than two months already...

How are you doing, my beloved Bitter Soliloquy? Been in real-life more than online, huh? Wait, you're always online, yet you don't visit me. I'm so deprived. Sigh, I guess I'm the least of your priorities now.

Haha, that's me talking to myself again.
But really, I've been away from my blog for quite a while. So many things have happened, and wish I've jotted them down here. Lol, I'm writing a diary! :D

I visited my blog out of having nothing to do infront of the PC. Expected visitors, but to no avail. I still have Sean's 'latest' comment during my birthday post, which was, ehem, last September. How's that for keeping abreast with times?

Weee, I've already made 67 posts discounting this one. Can't believe I did it. I've read a couple of them, and I can't help but smile. It's nice to relive the memories...

Hope to get the motivation again to frequently update, but school's taking much of my time, especially that this is my last semester. I have a thesis to prepare and defend. I can't afford to fail. Forgive me, but I can't stay in here for long. :(

Happy Birthday to Me!

Hahaha, and today, I officially step out of the teenager's clique. Yes, my teen love life may not have been that 'colorful', but heck.

And nope, no celebrations for now. No food, no gifts. But I'm grateful to my loved ones, my friends, and to the people who remembered this special day of my life. Your thoughts are far more greater than any banquet nor gift.

Salamat sa inyo. :)

As much as I would like to give more detail to this post, but I'm still on my studies. I'll have the luxury of editing this (hope so), hmmm, maybe on my free time. Hah, I wonder when would that be.

Happy Birthday, Little Brother

This is another birthday blogpost, this time for my young brother Lucky, who will be celebrating his seventh year.

His real name is Cristerroi, a portmanteau of Mama(Cristina) and Tiyo Roy's names. One question people would really ask: Where did his nick 'Lucky' come from? And isn't Lucky a feminine word?

On how he got his nick, well...


I'll update this post later. :D

All Systems Go

I'm happy that Sir Sanchez approved most of our present sales system narratives and flowcharts. There were some minor glitches, but we'll work out on it, let alone some major adjustments we're preparing.

It's all systems go for Rose Ann, Jofil, and I.

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The most arduous task on this study is the searching of a host company. The company search clings more on the interpersonal and communications skills. It's more on establishing a good rapport with the interviewee - in asking permission for the conduction of study, presenting the questions in a manner most understandable to him/her, among others.

It is from the information gained from here do the subsequent parts of the study reckon. These parts mostly deal with the technical and analytical aspects, things that we've been trained in this course. This is more on presenting, organizing, and networking the data. Having a strong knowledge base and scrutiny can spell the difference.

But a common denominator between the two divisions is teamwork. We couldn't have come up with a new study should we have given up. True enough, there were countless times that we contemplate on doing the whole process all over again, and with the speeding deadline, question our capability to make it. But even with all the pessimisms, we marched on, hopping one place after another, knocking on every business establishment we see along.

Until we found Mactan Cebu Trade Center...

Come to think of it, we had fewer pretensions with MCTC compared to the other three companies we've studied, one of which is Ma'am Mayta's availability. We got the full permission of the owner, the assurance of us being the first group of students to study their company and the processes which can support us three, and the trust of relaying their source documents. Never did we had all four of these in any of the previous companies.

God must've planned all these from the start, and I'm thankful for Him. We could've suffered more serious aftermath should we proceeded with any of the previous ones. I'm also very grateful to have Rose Ann and Jofil, for withstanding all the pains and for holding on. You guys are the best! :)

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By this Thursday, we're geared on submitting our proposal. We're getting paced up.

This September 27's the deadline. I'm more confident now that we can make it. :)

Hmm, What Gifts?

As already stated, today will be a dual birthday celebration for Mama and my little sister Fanessa. I planned on going to Danao today, but I declined due to a few concerns...

I hope that Ate Mikit's salary is already at hand. Yeah, I've gotten my allowance yesterday, but I've spent a considerable amount of the sum for the printing of our thesis. Fanessa requested for a badminton set for her birthday, which I would want to give her. But I only got roughly P300.00, and I think a badminton set would cost more than that, not to mention that this money I have to stretch until our payday at Lexmark R&D this 15th. The day falls on a Saturday, so I'm hopeful to get it this Friday.

Even if I will, I highly doubt if I can spare a huge chunk of it for gifts. Our thesis is resource-hungry - the cause of most of our expenditures. I may buy something else, but have to give up the badminton set. Not to forget, I am yet to buy a present for A-gie's - her requested anime songs/shows. Uhm, call it cost-cutting, but I think I would vouch for the game set both for A-gie and Fanessa. :)
Oh, not to forget Mama. What present can I give her? *rolls eyes* She has not requested me anything, nor hinted about her upcoming birthday.

I've never given those ladies birthday presents ever since, if my memory serves me well. And this year, I would want to make a difference. I'd go to Danao probably this Saturday night, after class.

Ooph, I have not greeted them yet! Better give 'em a call. :D

Untitled...

Thank God for answering my prayers!

Finally, I was able to talk to Ma'am Mayta via phone patch. I got much of the needed juice, and the call lasted for roughly ten minutes. Damn phone booth, and it didn't return my spare P5.00 change. <_<;

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I was really surprised with what Sir Monserate announced to us on our Networking class. He is suspended from teaching in the university. This is because of the previous year's issue involving him in a 'lascivious' act with a student.

I am yet to gather important facts...

I'm really saddened. Our professors are going away one at a time. First was Sir Miro's death, followed by Sir Osorio's rumored absence, and now Sir Monserate. With him gone, who will take his steed?

[to be updated]

September: the Month of Birthdays and Worries

September can be considered our family's flagship month. It is in this month that most of the family members celebrate their birthdays. First would be my young sister Alyssa (who's celebrating her birthday today). Next would be my Mom and my young sister Fanessa this Tuesday, followed by my young brother Lucky the day after. Mine would be next Wednesday, and Tiyo Roy's next to me.

To reiterate, September 9 is my beloved young sister Alyssa's 17th birthday. She's in Danao right now, living with my other two young sisters and with Kaia as their caretaker (Mom is in Negros to attend Ate Yammy's wedding, and Ate Mikit's in Japan).

Sad that I can't give her a gift now. I don't have enough money to buy her a present; my allowance is yet to arrive tomorrow.

Don't worry A-gie, as soon as I have the money, I'll give you your requested anime songs. :)

Maligayang Kaarawan, A-gie.

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I'm very happy with how our thesis is going. Through our joined efforts, we are now creating the program modules. We've finished a prototype proposal of Mactan Cebu Trade Center.

It's amazing that for only a few days, we were able to make it this far. After suffering emotional traume, and going on the painstaking process of company searching, finally we have found the one that would satisfy our four criteria: one that has not been studied by similar students, one that has processes that can support us three, one that has the full permission of the owner, and one that is willing to give out their source documents. I'm really grateful to Ma'am Mayta and to the whole MCTC for allowing us to study their company.

Alas, even the prototype is not that secure. The reason is that, there are some points on their sales system that we need to clarify, especially on their source documents. There were fields on these papers that seem unclear of their purpose. And we hope MCTC can shed light on this issue through another dialog.

But what worries me is that, Ma'am Mayta (the interviewee) wanted our interview (last Tuesday) to be one-time; i.e. she cannot promise to give us another time for another interview. And also, she's quite busy and may not be able to entertain us. Though, she allowed us to drop a call should we have any concern.

Inasmuch as we wanted it to be, it's really hard to get all the information at once. Questions are inevitable to arise.

In regards with that, the one that answers the calls is not her but Miss Josy, her bookkeeper. I've called MCTC for some clarifications twice in a row, but Miss Josy can't give a definite answer. The details of the sales processes is not her main concern. And when I called her, she sounded a bit irritated. I even heard her exclaiming to Ma'am Mayta that we are calling again, in a sullen note.

I am determined to call them again, hoping for an appointment to push through. Better yet, have Ma'am Mayta talk to us on the phone, so we don't need to come personally. This may sound pretty straightforward and rash, but we don't have much choice. We can't move on with the study unless these issues are addressed.

I hope they can set time to answer our questions. It's one thing I pray. We direly need the answers, as the deadline (Sept. 27) is fast approaching. Please, have mercy on us. :(

The New Breeds

And the contest is finished...

Surprisingly, we topped the Identification Round, the one that I really loath. And on the programming round, well, we weren't able to solve one of the two problems. It was the determination of the original price, given the markdown percentage and the net price (inputted by the user).

We weren't able to make it to Round 3. A team from UC-Main, UC-LM, and Comp. Eng. qualified for the final programming round, which was to solve a problem involving searching for numbers in a string of characters, computing their sum, and sorting them. To be honest, this problem is a lot easier than determining the original price. Oh well.

It's like the world turned upside down. We failed in programming yet swept the identification round.

And as the results were laid, Joy and Jayrome (from UC-Main) had the successful algorithm at the fastest time, giving them the win. Joy and Jayrome belongs to the elite few top students of their year (they're in 3rd Year).

Deep inside, I really wanted to win. Who doesn't want to? I felt like I disappointed Ma'am Maris. I felt like I could've done better if I studied more. However, I'm still glad for Joy and Jayrome for topping the contest. At least, the winning team came from my campus. Hmmm, I can smell a pinch of sourgraping here. :D

I and Anabelle joked on us getting all rusty. Hahaha. It's high time for the college to discover new breeds, and they've just found them. As for me, I can't dedicate my full time to joining contests, as I've stated in the previous post.

Joy and Jayrome's got a long way to go. Who knows, they would get more achievements than what I and Anabelle had. I'm looking forward to that.

UC-Main Rocks!

Yey, Intramurals!

No classes, weeeee!

This 1:00pm, I and Anabelle are gonna be participating the IT Quiz Bowl, competing against two other teams from UC-Main and three more groups from UC-LM and UC-Banilad separately.

I have not studied profoundly. I'm really weak at identifications. I've joined a lot of contests, and general information is my weak point. I'd better do the programming.

The other teams are quite as competent as us, posing an equal threat.

Ma'am Maris (our Dean) has high hopes on me and Anabelle, having participated in CESAFI and qualifying for the regional contest (related articles: here and here). I've made an ode to myself that upon stepping the fourth year, I'll lie low on joining contests to focus on my study. But this time, I can't exempt myself.

I can't dedicate my full time for this contest. Our thesis has to be done on double-time, especially that the deadline is coming close. I also have my work at Lexmark R&D.

But come to think of it, thanks to the quiz contests I've joined, I've gained experience that would help me out in this another endeavor. Right now, I'm reviewing all the programming problems we've solved during the contest (and those given by our professors), and reading my freshman introductory IT book for the terms. Yeah, it's kinda late. :(

Well, pray for the both of us. :)

A Cure for the Itch?

A word of warning: This post may contain 'unpleasing' terms and may sound disturbing to some.

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Nope, I'm not talking about the Linkin Park instrumental of the same title...

My buttocks has been very sensitive lately, especially on the right side. I've been having a lot of inflammations. Even a simple scratch can already provoke a tiny bump. As the bump gradually enlarges, so does it hinder my ability to sit properly. Worse, blood and a white substance (don't know the technical term) ooze out of it, which is completely uncomfortable. I feel like a woman on her menstrual period. And it really leaves bloodstains on my underwear. Washing laundry has never been my cup of tea, and these bloodstains make matters worse.

I've gotten like two already, both very annoying and painful. It's more excruciating when the bump area is pressed by sitting. How can I help it? It is the buttocks that is in constant contact and is one of the most used parts, and the bump is always provoked. Human as I am, sitting down is a capital need. I have to bear with the pain.

And as women apply napkin to absorb the flow of blood from the vagina, so does I have to swab Betadine(Povidone Iodine) and cushion with Band-aid and cotton.

With this, I've regarded more respect to our women for bearing with their menstrual cycle. I blow my horns. This isn't easy.

I don't know. I can't help but scratch the itch, like a disk jock on his turntable. Call it weird, but it kinda feels good - a totally orgasmic experience, so to speak.

The working definition of itching from a standard dermatology textbook is, “a sensation that causes a desire to scratch.” Fair enough, but why does itch (and scratching) feels good?

Taken from an anti-itch cream website I've stumbled upon searching:

[--Scratching an itch provides only temporary relief, and, unfortunately, only leads to more itching. This is called the "itch-scratch-cycle, " which only makes matters worse. Some scientists believe that scratching actually helps the body release pain-relieving endorphins, but this has not been proven and scratching only provides temporary relief. Scratching may indeed scrape off a layer of skin, but this does not make the itch disappear and it can lead to more serious secondary infections.--]

And so the proverbial saying goes, pleasure has corresponding pain. From the same website:

[--Scratching an itch only leads to more itching and more scratching and possibly, a secondary infection. People who experience itching, whether from dry weather, Poison Ivy or insect bites, should apply over-the-counter (OTC) topical remedies that effectively treat the particular type of itch they have. If these remedies don't work, or if the itching lasts for more than a week or becomes quite severe, it is best to contact a physician.--]

My Betadine ointment is almost depleted, and my allowance is yet to arrive this Monday. I wonder if I can sustain treatment if (God forbid) another inflammation grows on my buttocks again.

Speaking of which, a two-day old bump is on my right buttocks again. Like the other two, there is still no sign of white substance nor blood, but the tingling pain is already there. Oh no, am I going to relive the story again?

Blame it to the a sensation that causes a desire to scratch. This fetish has got to stop. Itching is pleasurable, but definitely not worth the aftermath.

A Bid Goodbye...

Today will be Gerly's last day on Lexmark R&D. Her contract of a year and three months is to end.

I'm awfully sad. Sigh, some good things never last. I'm gonna miss her: her silliness, her laughs, and most of all her 'obsession' with Kim Rae Won. Gerl, remember to keep your promise to me. :)

Gerl, I know that we have not known each other that long. We did not even have the chance to talk together personally. But I want you to know that you became a special person on my life - a good friend.

Thanks for everything, and goodbye. For now.

Please take care of the stuffed toy frog I've given you. Thanks for appreciating my simple gift. Hahaha, and you named it Jan. I'm so flattered. :p


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Last Tuesday, a shocking news stumbled upon the whole ICS college: Sir Ruben Miro is dead. According to our Psychology teacher, brain waves are still existent, but his heart stopped beating. There is still a chance for him to survive, and he shouldn't be embalmed this early.

Sir Miro is known to be an advocate of learning, a very professional mentor.

Though I was not under him on any of my subjects, I would like to extend my condolences to the afflicted, especially to his family. And may the good memory of Sir Miro remain on the students. Hope that his deeds would continue to inspire people, the faculty, the students.

Let's continue praying for him... :(

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As I checked the bulletin boards this afternoon to check about Sir Miro, I've read that he is to be cremated by tomorrow. I guess his brain wasn't able to bring him back alive... :(

Requiescat in pace, Sir Miro.

And the Journey Continues...

Today marks the one-month duration left for our thesis in IT 24. I'm kinda upset with how our thesis is going.

First was our TRUMAS study, which was going pretty smoothly (we got until the proposed system) until Sir Sanchez scorned us for not bringing the actual source documents (and instead brought the format).

Second was Cebu Electro Marketing, which was also doing well (got to database design already) until we found out that another group was studying the same company: the main branch. Ever since the semester started, Richard's group was submitting their Cebu Electro Study (while we were with TRUMAS), and their processes are much more elaborate compared to ours. We're on the losing end. We have to discard Cebu Electro.

After two failed attempts, we have to repeat the process all over again. Good thing though, we really don't have to start from scratch, since our past submissions can be used as templates for new ones.

We are also partly to blame with our failures. TRUMAS was a secret study -- everything was unbeknownst to the owner. And with regards to Cebu Electro, I've already stated the reasons here.

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Rose Ann and Jofil had to pass today, since they're focusing on their Flash animation project. So I went on solo flight. I'm sure I can do it; after all, I am a one-man army.

Island Builders Supply was my first stop. The owner was really kind, and even shared a few laughts. He can see himself in me during his college days, looking for companies for their thesis. But their sales processes are a tad few, since they do not accept credit transactions. Studying their business would only need two people, and that cannot be. He also did not permit on giving out the source documents; he was even skeptical on me copying the document's format, that he hurriedly took it away without me even finishing it.

And so, I continue this journey on foot, traversing the wide stretch of the highway. I got to La Prueba Marketing, but sadly a similar group of students (from UC) has already studied their system a year ago, and that is deemed prohibited, not unless the groups study different systems of the same company. Silly me for just walking away without asking what system did the previous group study. :(

Finally, I got to J.A. Ramos Enterprises. The owner's daughter, who studies Commerce at UC, and their salesclerk, who is also a UC alumnae, entertained me. We also exchanged thoughts and laughs. The daughter soon will be undergoing a feasibility study, similar to what we're doing, and the alumnae has also gone through the same process of thesis writing, so they could relate to my plight. The interview went on smoothly, with intermittent interruptions from customers.

I was able to finish my interview at an hour and thirty minutes. When I was about to ask for source documents, she hesitated.

When I asked the permission of the owner, I was really disheartened upon hearing his remark:

"No intrusions. You've already wasted the time of my men..."

This can only mean one thing: he does not totally agree with studying his business.

Earlier, he was joking on me as an 'industrial spy', who secretly gathers corporate information for the benefit of competitors, and uses a student thesis scheme to conceal the act. If not have I shown him my school ID and the letter of approval, I would be on the verge of scrutiny. It was a joke, but I know it was on purpose. After all, jokes are half-meant. Can't blame him; he's a businessman, and ought to protect his business' from intruders.

Maybe he found the length of the interview to be longer than expected, and that has deterred his people (including his daughter and the salesclerk) from focusing on their jobs.

I felt that the world is on my shoulders. I've been through worse emotional turmoil than this, but it still got me on shock. His daughter told me not to worry about it, and urged me to continue the study, with earlier claims of me cancelling the whole study due to his father's retort.

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Call it hindsight bias, but I was expecting it. Most of the businesses we've interviewed are hesitant on giving out source documents, be it photocopied or photographed, much more given. The capital reason is because of BIR, who checks on sales' documents for taxation. A simple erasure or discontinuity (these documents are prenumbered) can already put the business in question. They are even reluctant on giving out blank documents.

We have to find our own ways on obtaining a copy, without compromising the business. One was getting the documents' format, and have it encoded. But with Sir Sanchez's change of ruling, we even have to 'cheat' the source documents, making it look like the original, but actually encoded.

But deep inside, I really fear the misconduct. Sir Sanchez is known to be very vigilant and 'sigurista'. He goes as far as calling the business just to verify all the information presented to him by the students. With that scenario, we are surely to get caught.

These only lead to three things:

-we have to get the owner's permission;
-the company should not have been studied by similar students before; and
-their processes should be enough to support three people.

A fourth would be a company that is willing to give out their source documents. I know the odds are thin, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

This Wednesday, Jofil and Rose Ann will conduct an interview with Cebu Trade Center. I have full trust with you guys, and hope that this is it. :(

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These experiences has taught us to be stronger. Surely there will be more reprimands, more rejections, more failures in life. We just have to stand up and fight.

And so the harrowing journey continues. Crying won't help. We have to move on. We only got a month left...

The OJTs' Meeting

This morning was the scheduled OJTs' meeting of our department...

Sir Siegfried wanted to solicit comments from the OJTs regarding the work, and also to settle some issues and to reemphasize work conduct.

Just like most of the OJTs, I was also expecting my internship with Lexmark to be technically inclined - a training that would involve programming and development, where we can apply the knowledge cultured to us in school.

To be honest, I was a bit disappointed during my first few months. Going through every leaf of the test books can get really tedious, and with constant repetition and the humongous pile of paper, it can surely shrink us to oblivion. But I've come to love the work. It was a challenge offered to me by Miss Amy and Sir Siegfried during the interview, and I accepted it. It's just a matter of self-control and finding satisfaction with anything you do.

When some of us were complaining about having too much to do, there was Maelen contemplating on having nothing to do. A furtive grin came out of everyone's lips, exploding into laughters. Maelen, expect piles of paper to be on your desk tomorrow! Hahaha.

But what makes this event memorable to me was my coming out of my shell. Finally I got to clear my sexuality issue. All the while I was looking for an avenue to tell everyone that I am not gay. Yes, I tend to be sissy, but I'm not homosexual. I'm so thankful to have shed light on their minds, and for gaining their trust again. I know they were doubting me (read here). That's why I built walls and burned the bridges; I stayed away from them. I thought it was for good, until today happened.

Aah, I'm so happy for all of this to have ended!

To celebrate this event, Sir Siegfried and the teamleads hosted a lunch-out at Don Henrico's in Ayala. Present on the banquet were fried chicken, pastas, vegetable salad, tacos, and rice. Everyone was having a sumptuous meal.

We exchanged a lot of laughs, and became as wacky as we can get. I was even dancing on my seat! I was laughing my heart out, without pretensions nor fears. Now I've got nothing to hide. I can see the happiness on everyone's faces, something which I have longed to see again...

With Don Henrico's being an eat-all-you-can resto, everyone must finish everything on their plate. If not, then the person would have to pay for double the price. Joanna is having difficulty finishing her plate, and upon hearing the pay-double consequence, she tried to finish it. We were cheering on Joanna to finish it, and thank God she did!

We took lots of pictures, courtesy of Paul. Well, Paul was seemingly prepared for this event. He was the one who proposed Don Henrico's as the lunch-out venue.

I was so relieved. As I slowly shatter the walls, I'll start building the bridges. Ah, how I missed these guys! :)

A Community of Bloggers - A Filipino's Brainchild

I was reading my blog buddy Seanjames' page when I happened to have seen his shoutbox. A message suddenly caught my attention: Seanjames' blog is nominated for the Filipino Blog of the Week, much to my amusement and surprise.

Curious as to what the nomination was about, I clicked on Talksmart's URL. I was expecting for this to be like Technorati or Ratified. Talksmart is actually Mr. Salaswildthoughts, the Composed Gentleman, and the pioneer behind this brainchild - a community of bloggers.

I was wondering when this online community started. What could've inspired the Composed Gentleman in setting up a society of bloggers on the net? What were his underlying reasons? :)

And though I failed in finding the information, at least I dug through the records of what the Filipino Blog of the Week award is! Click here for a read.

True enough, it does follow a similar paradigm of blog election as that of Technorati and Ratified. Rankings are done through nominations from the community members.

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The image above is how a blogger can join the community. Membership's as simple as ABC -- you just need to add your blog link, and provide a link back of either two of his presented blogs to your blog. Heh, I'm #614. :p

Membership's still going on.

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Some comments from the members:

ice_edge said...
thanks, kuya. nice blog: fun to read, very informative, and promotes online relationships. very nice, indeed. :)

Eric Baroy Mahinay said...
This guy is not just an ordinary citizen..ang daming nalalaman.

OFW LIFE Lestat_m said...
added you in myblog roll..
thanks for the link...

regards and mabuhay ang mga blagistang pinoy!!!!..

joel ferraris said...
we need art...to enlighten the heart...and prepare the soul.

thanks a lot

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Definitely agree with the guys, and to all who posted their comments on there. It takes a titanic effort to gather the pieces into a meaningful whole. I'm glad that we don't need to be alone in the cyberspace.

I'm hoping to enjoy my stay in the community. *waits for the confirmation* :)

Kudos and more power, Mr. Salaswildthoughts. Your efforts are greatly appreciated. :)

And as for Sean's nomination...
Hmmm, I might think of voting for him, or not. :D

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I'm still pissed off as to why I can't add a new link on my link list. Worse, I can't even see my new posts. What the fish is the matter with Blogger now? :(

I can now add new links, and view my new posts. Perhaps it was because of my internet connection (shoddy service from an internet cafe *cough*).

Ate Mikit's Departure

Ate Mikit (my elder sister) was scheduled to leave for Japan today. She and a couple of fellow workers will be there for a month's training at Mitsumi Electric Co., Ltd. (don't know what factory in Japan exactly), a sister company of Cebu Mitsumi (where she is working). It was like five years ago when she was last sent there (if my memory serves me well). With a strike of luck coupled with perseverance, Ate is again chosen to be part of the training program.

I feel like the worst person in the world for not being able to escort her to the airport. I texted Mama just a while ago, and she told me that Ate Mikit was waiting for me to arrive.

I really hate myself. I did not even give Ate Mikit a farewell call. There is a phone outlet nearby which offers unlimited cellphone calls (talk all day; doesn't matter) for a standard fee of Php30.00. Sadly, they only serve Smart cellphone lines (PLDT hosts the line, and the unli-call is part of their promo), and Ate Mikit's number is in Touch Mobile (a Globe subsidiary).

What did I do instead? I just wasted my free two hours browsing the net, downloading songs, and streaming videos. I had to do my take-home exam then, but I brushed it off. I thought of calling Ate Mikit before going to the cafe, but I was thinking that she hasn't arrived home yet (it was around 8:00pm, and she usually arrives from work at ~8:30pm), so I declined, and also for the reason stated above. And I paid Php30.00 for the net time.

Oh, I could've used that time to travel from here (Cebu City) to Danao (where Ate and the rest of the family are staying). The travel would've only cost me an hour, and that thirty pesos was fairly enough to cover the whole fare.

I asked Mama (through text) whether Ate Mikit has any contact number in Japan. She said that Ate would just call us upon settling there.


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Ate, sorry to have kept you waiting. No amount of excuse would justify my shortcoming. I've been very overwhelmed by my pressing studies, but I should've alloted time to attend to your departure. I hope you can forgive me. :(

安全な旅行を持ちなさい (Have a safe trip), Ate Mikit. I'll pray for you. Take care of yourself there in Japan.

The Shocking News and a Student's Remorse

Just a few minutes before posting, my colleague Jofil revealed this shocking announcement: the company (Cebu Electro Marketing) we've been studying for our IT 24 has already been studied! And as a golden rule, no two (or more) groups should study the same company!

Jofil already had this suspicion that Richard (and his group) is studying Cebu Electro Marketing's Mandaue branch, as revealed with former's previous conversation with the latter. Richard is from the afternoon section. Jofil wasn't able to verify it soon, due to some 'kaulaw/kasuod' issues. Also, we just neglected the proposition thinking that since Sir Sanchez continues to check our work and has not had any qualms about the company being studied by another.

This is also one thing I don't understand with Sir Sanchez. He assumes that his students already knows everything. He thinks that he has already told the students the 'rules' when in fact he did not! He always delivers his infamous 'I told you (last meeting/already) that...blah, blah, blah' line partnered with drilling his fingers on the table and shaping wrinkles on his forehead. Raising his voice, he can make the whole class shut to silence.

There was one time when he told us to lay down all papers to be checked on his table, as what he has said during 'the last time.' I thought he really did, since it was then when I just came back from Korea. But upon asking my classmates, not one of then remembered that he told everyone of the rule! Again he shut the class in defeaning silence.

And maybe because of this that he tends to overlook on a lot of things. He checks for errors on our papers and put notes on it. After putting necessary corrections, we again submit the papers, only to find out that there were new errors, and these were mostly the ones that he did not see previously! Putting it bluntly, he does not see all the errors at one sitting. The items we thought correct sometimes turn out to be new errors for him. Sadly at the expense of the students, we have to print the whole thing all over again, digging hard into our pockets.

He's also sometimes unpredictable, always changes his mind. Our first major heartache (for our group) was when Sir Sanchez told us to look for another company since TRUMAS wouldn't give out the source documents. Here's the catch: weeks earlier he told the whole class that if the company hesitates to furnish copies of the source documents (for confidentiality), we can just ask the format of which (and have it typed on the computer). During the first weeks he was checking our TRUMAS study, he didn't censure the encoded documents. And we are just surprised when he finally told us about the new rule, as stated above! It was the reason why we sought for another company to study: Cebu Electro Marketing. But look at what happened? Richard and his group has been studying the same company for the long run, and Sir Sanchez didn't notice it?

It's so frustrating. We're already on the process of designing the database for Cebu Electro Marketing, but we're left with no choice. Soon, Sir will eventually find it out. We just have to start all over again, either go back to TRUMAS and plead to them, or look for another company. We roughly have a month and two weeks left before submission. At our present state, I am losing hope whether we'll make it.

I know we may have our share of the fault and should've done our share of the research, but Sir can't expect us to be omniscient -- to be all-knowing. We're still beginning to learn this craft, so at least he should be considerate enough. At least he can be consistent with his rules...

I don't know if there was any student before brave enough to tell Sir Sanchez about these discrepancies of his. With his present position in the school's hierarchical chart, and with his immense knowledge, no one bothered to challenge him. Yet. I thought of writing him a letter, but I was faint-hearted.

I hope Sir Sanchez notices it for himself... :(



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On another note, I guess I just can't leave my blog like that. :) But this issue needs to be addressed!

Taking a Break...

Because of pressing academic responsibilities, I'll be taking a break on posting on my blog. This year's performance is the most important and will ultimately spell success over failure, of wearing the revered toga and passing through the threshold, in laughters and tears, or being in the corner, crying in absolute grief and disappointment.

For years I have been very lenient on my studies. Really, I am not the type who studies 'hard core'. I am a certified crammer - one who studies for an examination by memorizing facts at the last minute. I get more 'stimulated', 'motivated', on working by the eleventh hour.

As I have stated numerous times on my posts, I am the type that would prefer solitude over company, a one-man team. I abhor the idea of group works, but not totally. I just hate it when projects are done with groups. I know that by grouping, members will be able to spend a little time yet work on a bigger project, generate more ideas, apportion the expenses, lighten the workload, all of which are positive. But what happens is that, only one person works on that big project, uses more brain power to its extent, and increases his workload, while the others just don't give a heed but hand over a few pennies for whatever amount the project will incur. And that just sucks.

That happened to me a lot of times (one instance here), and I end up the one doing the whole thing for the group. But then again, I am not totally abhorring the idea of collective effort, and what I've illustrated a while ago does not always happen, but terrible when it does. That's why most of the time I'd rather go alone. At least I have no one to blame but myself.

But all the cramming and the one-man teaming is about to change, hook or crook. Our professors are throwing away loads of group works, with deadlines just days one is next to another. Not to mention our minor and major exams, tilling my brain some more. I'm definitely going to need all the resources - physical, financial, intellectual, material, emotional, whatever is deemed important. I would (not just) try (but really work on it) to be an effective group member.

Ahh, so many things to do with so little time!

Time management issues? Huh, easy for you to say.

So that's it. I'll be leaving my blog (not to rot) for a very long while to focus more on my academic responsibilities. So many things (even weird ones) have happened, yet I was lazy in putting them on black-and-white. I feel so sorry for my blog. :(

Annyong hige seyo.




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On another note, I have actually left a lot of my posts hanging (i.e. those of which I promised to edit when I find 'time'. This is also one thing I hate about me - can hardly keep a promise even to myself. But I'm trying...) :(

Major Pain in the Ass -- Literally!

Last Monday upon waking up from slumber, I noticed this tiny bump on my right buttocks (centimeters away from my anus). At first I just ignored it, thinking that it would just 'go away' as days go by.

But no. And it's giving me the creeps.

During its 'early days' I was able to sit well. It feels like it doesn't exist, so the more I ignored it. Then came Wednesday, when it's just intolerable. The tiny bump has grown, to the point of having 'nana' or this white secretion-thing.

[I'll edit this later. For now, I'm doing our thesis.]

Which Star Are You From?

I'm still sad that the KDrama is already finished. I've been listening to these soundtracks for a lot of times already. I thought that the series is to end today, but I was surprised that it ended yesterday.

I felt like not sleeping last night. I know I'll get over this 'addiction' of mine. But right now, I want to succumb myself to these.

I hope ABS-CBN's gonna broadcast a special primer of the KDrama tonight, but that's highly unlikely.

Once again, some good things never last. :(

[I'll write a review about this KDrama soon. :)]


Information:

Which Star Are You From? - in Wikipedia
Which Star Are You From? - Official Site (Hangeul/Korean)
Which Star Are You From? - Wallpapers


Here are the OSTs:

Bi.wma (1.14 MB)
Day By Day.wma (1.21 MB)
Hoo Hwe (Instrumental).wma (2.14 MB)
Miracle (MtoM).mp3 (5.81 MB)
MtoM - Miracle (Instrumental).wma (1.98 MB)
MtoM - Miracle (Slow Version).wma (1.26 MB)
Na Young Joo - Hoo Hwe.wma (2.13 MB)
San Chaek.wma (1.22 MB)
Sarang Ha Go It Neyo (Instrumental).wma (2.25 MB)
Sweet Love.mp3 (4.42 MB)
The A.D. - Ggeul Rim.wma (1.59 MB)
Toni Gonzaga - Catch Me I'm Falling.mp3 (4.3 MB)
Whenever.wma (1.56 MB)

The Experience that was Korea: My Essay

This is my long overdue essay to be submitted to the South Korean Embassy. I am supposed to submit this last July 21, a month after the program's closure (June 21). And look at what date it is now?

No amount of excuse will justify this shortcoming of mine. :(

But anyway, here's my essay:

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The Experience that was Korea


Annyong haseyo.

I could still remember what happened when I first stepped foot on Korea’s soil: the jitters of the first time, the inevitable jetlag and culture shock, the company of strangers. Everything was so new to me. I had to survive this ten-day journey all by myself; without my family and friends. I hope I’ve done enough preparations to ready me for this experience.

I am a recipient of the so-called “Korean Wave”. I have this growing penchant for Korean dramas and Korean music. I hope the little knowledge I have about the country can aid me throughout. Seeing the country itself is something I can’t wait to do. I don’t know what to expect, and I refuse to. I’ll let myself be blown away by the experience that is Korea.

Being a small country, worse divided, Korea has to use all of her resources, under the ground and above the sea, exploit it to its extent. Space is a very important factor.

I am greatly impressed with how Korea has progressed. Never in my own have I seen such huge skyscrapers juxtaposed in the skyline. I couldn’t stop looking head high. Their road systems are sophisticated, with buses/private cars on the main roads and subway trains serving the underground. Their roads are wide enough not to congest vehicles; bumper-to-bumper traffic was highly unlikely. One would really lose his way especially if one isn’t familiar yet. It was also the first time I saw an ‘underground market’, in its literal sense. Towering apartments stretching even up to its mountainous landscape was so overwhelming. Korean companies are also stepping their feet into the international market, and are considered to be of quality.

But its exhaustion does not compromise the country’s natural beauty. Aquamarine blue waters, luscious flowers, green trees and mountains still abound Korea’s busy metropolis, much more in its provinces. Undeniably, Korea is an emerging superpower, creating balance of its natural and man-made resources.

Koreans put a lot of value on their cultural heritage. They’re doing their best to preserve the remaining relics, even to the point of restoring those that are decimated, especially the ones destroyed during the Korean War. The Korean Folk Village is a perfect example of their undying tribute to their history.

Koreans are fond of spicy foods. A meal will never be complete without kimchi; different varieties of the dish were served on regular intervals. Fruits and vegetables are also prominent on the table. I’ve also noticed that there were dishes that appeared to have no preservatives / flavouring; it was served on a separate platelet. Koreans have a big appetite. Aside from a pot-full of the main course, there were also a whole lot of side dishes. What’s amazing is that they can finish all of it in a matter of minutes, while I myself can’t even settle on the main course. Oh well. But one thing rewarding about my Korean food experience is learning how to use the chopsticks. 

Koreans are always in a hurry – ‘pali-pali’ or ‘hurry-hurry’. The horror of the post-Korean War vendetta catalyzed their people’s vision to do everything in a hurry, with no time to lose. Our interpreter told us that Korea was able to hasten its progress; what was to take hundreds of years was sped up to only 30 years or so. It was an amazing feat for such a short period of time! On a relative note, there was also one time during our busy shopping that a Korean bumped on us, and never did apologize. I found it rude for him not even saying ‘sorry’. But later on, it was explained in one of our lectures: bumping on someone is normal in Korea, and it doesn’t count as ‘rude’, since there was no pain intended. Here’s a simple formula: Koreans always in hurry plus busy streets is equal to bumps with no sorries. 

I, for one, stereotyped Koreans as being indifferent, aloof, and discriminatory, among others. Back in my place, I don’t usually see them going together with Filipinos. There was also one time that a comrade and I went to an English school for Koreans. We humbly greeted them and smiled, but we got no reaction but blank glances.

Then after hearing from one of our lectures, I’ve understood why they reacted that way. They are more comfortable staying with their fellow Koreans, and they aren’t that gregarious.

The Koreans are accommodating. The Moon family (our homestay host) provided us with the necessities we needed, and even provided more. We didn’t expect such a warm acceptance from them. They’re also ‘game’ for laugh trips, and they were so willing to share us their life stories. They didn’t let us feel like strangers/guests, but part of the family. I could then remember the feeling of home. Truly, it takes one to know one.

But the ultimate test was the language barrier. Korean Hangeul is the mother tongue, and the country is still beginning to learn English. Surely, the Hangeul common phrases we learned were handy, but it gets worse when we dig into the details. We can’t express ourselves in Hangeul the thoughts that aren’t covered by the ‘common phrases.’ I’m glad the Moon family knows English.

They value the 2002 FIFA World Cup very much. I have not watched the World Cup personally. That’s why I’m so eager finding out why they put such value to the ‘game’. Later on I found out that they consider the cup as the catalysing event that positioned the country to the whole world. People around the world were surprised by the amazing display of the Koreans’ homogeneity and strength. It was cathartic to watch the Red Devils flooding the streets, cheering for the Korean soccer team. They have set the record of the first-ever Asians to compete for the semi-finals of the prestigious cup. The world has grown a huge amount of interest about Korea after then.

After watching the highlights of the cup, I felt like crying. But it’s still appalling and ironic to note that even with their unity, the country is separated into two. The Moon family is hoping that someday both Koreas will coexist, and is supporting the government’s move for reunification. I guess most of them feel the same way.

What made the experience more worthwhile was the convergence of students all around South East Asia. Not only did we engross ourselves about the Korean culture, but also learned things about our neighbouring countries. This experience has left an indelible mark unto everyone.

It was my first time going out of my country. This trip brought along with it many first-time experiences. No amount of words can describe the happiness I’ve felt when I was announced to be the representative of the school for the Korean trip, and even after the trip has finished. I never did imagine that this will happen to me.

It may have been over, but the memories I've spent with everyone will remain in me. I'll share this wonderful story with friends, family, and to anyone who wants to listen to it. We made friends out of complete strangers, met different kinds of people, been to interesting places, learned new knowledge, immersed with different cultures, shared thoughts in life, that all-in-all made this ten-day escapade a memorable part of everyone's life.

I hope someday, I can step my feet back into Korea’s shores again…

Kamsa hamnida.

The Reopening

I decided to open my blog to everyone again...

Reason?
Can't think of any. :P

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OMG, I've broken my Golden Rule of 'English-only' posts. There are at least three posts I've written in vernacular, one reason for me closing my blog for a while.

But now, I'm back in the online world. :)

And That's What I Call 'Groupwork'

Deadline na namo gahapon sa among IT 27 nga project, which is an advertisement for 60 seconds.

Posporo among topic. Posporo Pichay.
Maayo pa gani namong plano sa among storyline; kung unsa'y mahitabo, pila ka characters, asa ang setting, mga taglines. Sayo gud kaayo mi nagplano.

Then ninglungtad ang pila ka adlaw, semana. Hangtod nga niabot gyud ang deadline which is gahapon. Wala gyud mi nakabuhat sa among Flash project maski usa ka scene. Si Christopher kay nagbuhat sa ilaha, pero draft ra, wala pa gani mahuman.

Nagkita mi gahapon sa akong mga kagrupo, and I told them nga wala mi ika-submit. Nihangyo na lang ko ni Alicia nga ingnan si Christopher nga dad-on to iyang binuhat, bahala'g bati.

Then pagka-gabii na ana. Wala gyud nitunga ni isa sa akong mga kauban. Nitunga to si _________, pero niuli ra sad siya dayon. Wala gyud mi na-submit.

Suya gani kaayo ko ilang Dennis nga project kay nindot kaayo: kaldero nga nag-away, unya wacky kaayo. Kami intawon, wala maski usa ka frame.

Nagbuhat ko ug dali-dali sa laboratory, pero pagkahibalo nako nga wala'y internet connection kay gi-block, na-discourage ko ug gi-discontinue ang trabaho. Hahay.

Nihangyo ko ni Dennis nga kuyogan ko ila Mayet para manghuwam sa laptop niya. Ako na la'y mobuhat. Maayo gani kay nisugot si Mayet nga ipahuwam nako.

Ug mao gabii, nakasugot na ko sa mga drawings. Ang nakapait lang, dili mo-work ang keyboard sa laptop ni Mayet. As in, lisud gyud kaayo i-maneuver kung mouse ra. Naanad man gud ko'g keyboard shortcuts, ug tungod sa nahitabo, nakuhaan gyud ug dako akong processing time.

Ako na'ng tiwason akong animation after this post. Naa ko diri karon sa internet cafe, gi-type ang mga texts nga gamiton sa among presentation, ug nag-collate sa tanan nga mga special characters, letter case nga gamiton nako. Ana lang.

And that's what I call groupwork. Usa ra'y magbuhat.
Sad-an man sad gyud ko. Pero honestly, mao gyud ni akong kalagutan basta groupwork. Ang mahitabo man gud, usa ra'y magbuhat unya ang uban inutile. Hahay.

Sige oi, balik na ko.

Finally, We Found One

At last, nakakita ra gyud mi'g company nga willing magpa-conduct ug study. Trust Marketing and Auto Supply (TRUMAS) ang ngalan sa autoshop na ni-entertain nako.


Actually, nakasugod na ko'g interview nila pag-Friday pa lang sa buntag (it was after my meeting of the streetchildren (jump one more post from the previous one)). I have managed to ask them most of the gist of our thesis (the step-by-step sales process, kinds of terms used, mga tawo nga involved, history sa company and organizational hierarchy, product lines, source documents, and more). Gahapon, nagsugod na mi'g buhat sa system flowchart, pero na-impede me tungod sa kakulang sa mga minor information. Nagplano mi nga within that day unta kay moadto mi sa Trumas, pero busy man sila ingon si Ate pag-call nako, so wala na lang mi nidayon. Pero this Sunday (karon), ok ra daw, basta sayo lang, kay moabot ang tag-iya.

Ug ganina, naka-conduct gyud tawon mi sa interview. As in sayo kaayo ko didto; sirado pa sila ug wala pa'y employees nga naabot, nag-atang na ko. Nakasugod na ko ug pangutana sa mga kulang, most especially on their sales return process. Naglibog kaayo ko sa gisulti ni Ate nga process, maong sige gyud ko'g pangutana niya. Tapos, naa pa gyud siya'y gibuhat ato nga time, mao nga nakasamot gyud ko niya pag-ayo. Usahay pangutan-on ko niya kung unsa pa'y kulang, dili man ko makatubag dayon. Naka-prepare na man mi'g lista sa mga questions nga among i-ask, pero naa ni Jofil. Sige na lang gud ko'g ampo nga maabot na intawon silang duha para maka-aid sila nako. Nahasol gyud ug maayo si Ate, unya dili ko gusto nga mao na'y mahitabo. Dili baya lalim.

Ug tuod man, naabot ra gyud si Rose Ann, then after a few minutes si Jofil. I showed both of them kung unsa na so far ang akong nakuha nga information. Naa pa'y mga kulang, mga updates, mga clarifications nga gisugyot silang duha, which amo sad nga gi-ask ni Ate. Naa gihapo'y gibuhat si Ate, pero mo-entertain gihapon siya namo.

Until such time nga hapit na mi mahuman.
Actually, and pangalan sa Trust kay familiar kaayo namo. Mao nga nakulbaan mi nga basin ug naa na'y naka-study sa ilang company. Dili man gud puede sa thesis ang magkapareho. Masayang ra unya among pinaghirapan.

Then nisulti siya namo nga kami kuno ang first nga ilang gi-entertain (sa ilang branch). Naa kuno'y nag-study sad sa lain, pero mura ug gi-reject daw nila. Against gyud kuno sa company policy ang mo-entertain ug mga ingon ani, kay daghan ang makompromiso, dili lang ang time ug productivity sa mga empleyado, kundili naa'y possibility nga mapagawas ang mga confidential information. Ni-entertain siya namo tungod kay nakasabot siya sa among giagihan, kay ingon ani man sad ilang gibuhat ato sa college (accounting iyang course).

Pero maski nisugot siya, naa gihapo'y mga limitations nga iyang gi-imply. Wala siya nihatag sa mga names sa mga employees (maski sa iya), same sad sa tag-iya sa business. About sa source documents sad, dili sila mosugot nga i-photocopy, pangayu-on, or picture-an. Mao nga format na lang niini among gipangayo. Nakasabot man sad mi sa measures nga gibuhat ni Ate.

We did a final check, and we thought that it's enough na. We bid goodbye and said thanks to Ate and to the whole crew for everything. Dako gyud kaayo ni'g matabang sa among thesis. Mas smooth-sailing na among buhat karon.

Once again, salamat ninyong tanan, TRUMAS-Mambaling employees, and most especially kang Ate, nga wala mi kahibalo sa pangalan. :p

Friday the 13th IS REAL!

Friday the 13th: From Wikipedia

Dimalas ang Friday the 13th. Daghang mga katingalahan ang mahitabo.

Gahapon, gibutang sa hotseat ang mga incumbent Datatron officers, with the advisers, the Dean, and the candidates. Wala ko katunga kay nangita mi'g company para sa among thesis (read the two previous posts).

Ilahang gi-question kung unsa'y dagan sa among pagpangalagad: kung asa na padulong ang kwarta sa org, as well as pointing out kung unsa'y mga 'naobserbaran' nila namo.

Aside from our financial standing, na-brought up sad ang akong pangalan ug ang paglarga nako sa Korea.

Tinuod, naa gyud ko'y kahiubos sa akong mga kauban, nga akong nasulti. Pero wala ko'y tumong nga makapasakit ug tawo, or mobungkag sa foundation sa organization. Tungod lang gyud siguro sa akong pagdali-dali mao nga nadala ko sa spur of the moment. Tungod na sa akong pagdali-dali mao nga naa ko'y mga butang nga napagawas. I've said more than what I should have. Na-misinterpret ni sa uban nga mga tawo, nga in-turn mao'y ilang gigamit nga bala para tirahon mi.

I feel so betrayed. Wala ko nag-expect nga iyaha na diay ming gi-kwentahan. Feeling nako, amoang sala tanan. I thought it was all in good faith. Unya ang nahibato, gi-nawong hinuon mi, daw sa namuyboy. Nga wala kuno katabang ang organization nako paglarga nako sa Korea, unsaon na lang kuno pagtabang sa org sa mga constituents niini. Kuwang kuno mi ug suporta gikan sa organization.

Wala ko nag-expect nga ang mga tawo nga among gituohan nga among kasaligan, among mga amigo/amiga, mao na hinuo'y modunggab namo patalikod. Naa diay 'grupo' nga nagplano nga i-take over ang organization. Dugay na kuno ni sila nga nagplano nga i-shake ang foundation sa organization, ug karon ang sakto nga panahon.

Dako gyud kaayo ko'g sala nga nahimo, sa akong mga advisers, sa akong mga co-officers. Feeling nako ako'y nag-catalyze, ako'y nag-instigate ani nga kagubot.

Nasorpresa gyud kaayo akong mga kauban ug among mga advisers. Wala gyud kuno sila'y nasulti; wala na lang sila nisulti. Nakonsensya gyud ko ug maayo maghuna-huna kung unsa'y nahitabo nila.

If only nakatambong ko sa meeting, I could've shed some light on the matter. I could've made a difference. Dili siguro nila makastigo ug ingon-ana among organization.

I feel so guilty of what happened. Ewan kung naa pa ba ko'y nawong nga mapakita sa among mga advisers, now that they've decided nga mo-resign from the advisorship.

Kargo de konsensya gyud nako tanan. Wala na ko kahibalo unsa'y buhaton. Nangayo na lang ko'g tambag sa usa ka tawo nga akong masaligan. Wala ko'y nahimo kung dili ang pagpagawas sa akong kahiubos, ug sa akong kahingawa sa sitwasyon. Nalipay ko nga naa siya didto, sa pagpaminaw, sa paghatag ug tambag, sa pagklaro sa akong hunahuna nga clouded na kaayo. Nagpasalamat sad ko nga ni-offer siya sa iyang help sa pagsulbad ani nga problema.

Pero bisan pa man sa nahitabo, na-feel sad nako nga mas suod na kami sa akong mga kauban. Mas strong karon ang bond nga mao'y nagpalibot namo. We learned how to trust each other more. It is in the darkest of nights that we see the brightest of stars.

With what happened, one thing was assured of me: FRIDAY THE 13TH IS REAL! It can unleash horror you've never expected before.

The Streetchildren's Courage

Relative to my previous post, this morning, I decided to look for companies that would satisfy our thesis. Most of the establishments along the highway are starting to open as I was passing by. Yes, I am supposed to go on-duty that morning (at Lexmark R&D), but I want to settle our thesis preparation first. September 27 is the deadline of submission, and we don't have that much time left.

I was just standing infront of a construction supply shop, like waiting for the 'Juan dela Cruz-ian' guava to fall off the tree. And somehow, the guava bumped on my forehead instead on my mouth, shaking me off. I was packing my courage. I thought going alone would be easy as I have always bragged, but it really is not.

Like what usually happened yesterday, I was rejected of my offer. I said it's alright, but deep inside, I'm frustrated, down, and somewhat discouraged. I can't help it. It has never been easy looking for a company willing to be conducted a study, and we've been looking for one for quite some time now. I felt like giving up. I guess I just have to wait for Rose Ann and Jofil.

Then my contemplation was suddently shaken up, by this street kid. Actually there were many of them, but only one approached me and opened his palms, asking for some loose change. I didn't give him anything, and he just went along with the other kids. God, where are the parents of these children?

It's a regular sight, seeing kids like them wearing clothes of dirt and lackluster, sometimes they have none. Children draped with mud and dust, smothered by roaming vehicles or by sleeping on the pavement. Children criss-crossing the busy highways, unwary of the dangers of being run over, and worse being ran away by irresponsible drivers. You might wonder where they are going, but they may not be going anywhere. They have nothing to go. They just let themselves be taken by life's currents. They just let themselves be hounded by life's demons.

With the pressing economic situation of the country, and the seeming lack of action from the government to provide support to the poverty line, not to mention society's prying eyes and lack for human compassion, the families of these children are left with no choice. No parent would want to perish one's brethren, but what more can they do with the only power they have? What's their raison d'etre if they are condemned by society, being their only resort?

I do not exempt myself, washing my hands off of the issue. I am a part of the society that condemns them. And I myself did nothing of much worth to leverage their lives, aside from handing them over a few pieces of bread (on several occasions). :(

Watching them walk away, I was telling to myself. These kids get more humiliations than I did. They get ignored, abused, imprisoned, beaten up and shooed, and more. They cry, but they can stand up again. They are already immune; life's pressures have shaped them and made their hearts and tough as steel. They are still valiant on approaching people and opening their palms. Even if rejected, they can just move on. They've got nothing to lose; they've been deprived of everything in the first place. Though a growing number of them are doing mischievous acts, but they were just pushed by their condition, abused of their innocence by people. They are not to blame.

How I wish I was just as tough, as brave as them. How I wish I can just 'open my palms' on people with ease, alongside of respect.

I've learned a very valuable lesson in life, and it came from the least expected person(s), but at the right time. The street children's courage is something worth emanating. I hope the government pays due attention to their condition.

It's time for me to jump to the next construction supply shop...
I hope I can do it this time.

The Mice, The Search, and The Lion

Yesterday afternoon, Jofil, Rose Ann, and I were looking for companies for our thesis. The constraint is that the company is still using manual processing. We walked the stretch of the highway on foot, knocking unto every business establishment along its sides, ranging from pet shops to hardware supplies.

Most of the time we were rejected by them, either because they are already computerized or they just can't dedicate time for us, or we're just fly in the ointment. This is inevitable, and we're not letting ourselves be disheartened, but instead be motivated.

We came over a company named ABCED System Corporation. We were actually cynical if a huge establishment like this one is still on the mano approach. But there's no harm in trying...

When we approached the saleslady and started explaining. But since she can't get any idea of what we're talking about, she addressed a fellow employee who's college course is in-line with IT. Whew, at least, there's someone to help us out.

After hearing our explanation, he actually agreed. But he said more...
He actually offered us to stay in the company, and work, do internship. For him, we can study better the system if we are involve ourselves with the company's operations. He even offered us to talk to the manager about it; signing of contract, and even a promise of grand if we can satisfy the company's needs.

We were so overwhelmed with Mr. X's (I forgot to ask for his name and his position in the company, but I'm sure that he's a graduate of Computer Engineering.) proposal. ABCED System Corporation is a huge company selling tiles and household interiors; actually that's just one of their many businesses. Their branch is already computerized, and no definite time yet for them. The idea is that, we have to 'automate' their sales processes, if not all.

We can feel our cold sweat dripping on our foreheads. It's like we're mice facing a mighty lion. The task they offered us seemed gargantuan. We also have other priorities to attend to.

We have their contact number. But I think we won't be pursuing it, to be honest.

[I will soon edit this post. I'm not really feeling good right now. :( ]

Search Your Name on the Internet, I Dare You!

Actually opened up during the meeting (see previous post), Sean (yes, him again) stated this revelation that our names actually accumulate results from top search engines, with a three of those results are likely relevant to us, be that Friendster, a .PDF file of the list of SM Scholars, and our blog (if any). This statement was supported by some of the scholars who have tried the trick.

Out of curiosity, I tried searching my name on a few search engines today, and whoa at the results!

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My Name on Google...
My Name on Yahoo!...
My Name on MSN...

(I didn't bother with the others search engines, since I only have a few time left to stay in this internet cafe. :p)

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I actually laughed with some of the search results. Ok, my Friendster was there, my IMEEM uploads, and even my Flickr. I am a bit confused (and upset) as to why my blog (this one) wasn't 'searched', when in fact Blogger is an affiliate of Google. Hmmm, I wonder why.

I was a bit astounded upon seeing my name on obituaries, only to find out on the long run that it was only a part of my name! Silly search results. It really pays paying attention first, and not jumping into conclusion at once. :O

So, who wants to jump into the bandwagon of name search on the net? Just prepare yourself though for anything from bizarre to downright funny. Hahaha.

(thanks again to Seanjames for this laugh trip)

Meeting with the Old and New

So yes, today was the scheduled rendezvous for the SM Foundation, Inc. scholars.

The new intakes were clustering themselves on the left corner of the conference hall. It has been a favorite spot for every newcomer. I don't know, but I can see myself in them years ago: quite, aloof, and nonparticipating. They've been the focus of attention of everyone, and were most of the times encouraged to do some of the work. But they still prefer to stay in their comfort zone. It's inevitable, and it really happens.

I'm not really familiar with everyone inside the Conference Room, especially the first years. LOL, I don't even remember all the names of the younger scholars. Only a few people have made a mark on my head, most are the ones who stands out more often from the rest, either with their funny antics, oh-so-loud retorts, and what not(Mark, Sean, I'm talking about you guys. :D). Of course, there was Ms. Joan, being our ever-loving proctor.

But today though, Mark wasn't present. Actually, a third (estimates, estimates...)of the whole group didn't show up. Busy with school? Forgot about the meeting? Taking a rest? Populate the choices. :)

And who replaced Mark on the frontline? Who else, but my good ol' partner (in-crime), Ferlina. And their voices enveloped the wee-sized conference room. As usual, Sean was into it again: bursting out all of his thoughts and not running out of ideas. He actually shared quite a lot (and I mean it) of 'techniques' about college survival (:P). Ferlina was in-charge of the comic relief, injecting humor unto anything that's supposed to be discussed seriously. Hahaha, that's what I liked most about her. :D

One of today's agenda was the election of officers. Since Ate Liberty already graduated, so her position of President is left vacant. Some were retained of their positions, and some were newly elected. Fearl succeeded Ate Liberty for President, while I took over the Vice President position, and Sean being the new Secretary. Oh my God. :O

Next meeting will be on August 12th. I hope everyone can come...

Random Stories

I went to Atty. Go's office this morning to give him my present from South Korea, to show my heartfelt gratitude for giving me the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to travel to South Korea. I was kinda delayed; it is almost two weeks after the study tour ended. Procrastination on the loose again. My bad. :(

It was a box of porcelain teacups. I know it isn't that much, but it's not really the material worth. And I'm happy that Atty. Go gladly accepted my little token. Kamsa hamnida, Mr. President. :)

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I've drank a lot of coffee back in the office this afternoon. Perhaps I made the mixture too concentrated, that's why the coffee really struck my senses, and I feel really wobbly as of typing. @.@

I'm such a noob.

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Yesterday was our beloved Mr. Aahron Dinauanao's birthday. Sir, I know this may sound cliche, but I want to thank you for being there for us rain or shine, as an adviser, a teacher, and as a friend.

Sir, you're getting old. When will you marry? :D

Happy birthday, Sir A.

Do I Really Know Myself...?

Yesterday at school, Rose Ann popped up this question: "Jan, this concern was raised by some of our fellow OJTs (in Lexmark R&D). They say you are kinda...gay." Then she went, "Jan, are you gay?"

I was dumbfounded when she asked that. My sexuality has been the subject of dispute ever since college. The first one was during my theater days, where my fellow thespians asked me of my sexual orientation.

And now, the question just came out of nowhere, during the least expected time...

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Is it because of whom and how I grew up?
I grew up with women's company. Papa died when I am still of young age, so Mama was left with the sole responsibility of providing for us. I was the only boy in the family of (then) six, until Mama decided to remarry again (with Tiyo Roy, and they beget three children: Lucky (the boy), Danelle, and April).

I don't know how to fight, really. I'm speaking of brawls, of fist fights. Hell, I can't even throw a decent punch! I don't want to pick up a fight with anyone, and would rather choose diplomacy over violence. Though, there are times that I tend to land my fists on my sisters, especially if I'm totally pissed off. :(

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Is it because of whom I am with most of the time?
My barkada are composed mostly of women, and I even have gay friends. I tend to be very close to women, and have made a lot of female friends. Perhaps because I grew up with a family of women, that's why I can get along with women very well. But I do not discount my male friends...

I am a certified loner. Hopeless romantic. I tend to just sit in the corner, and say nothing. Even with a group, there are times where I just prefer not to say anything, since there is nothing I can think of to say, and would prefer to listen. Times that I prefer solitude over company, as I have stated on most of my posts here.

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Is it because of my disposition?
I openly admin that I use a lot of expressions from the 'gay lingo', and even imitate on how they pronounce it. Not just to poke fun on my gay friends, but I just find it the appropriate way of saying it without spoiling its humor. Also, I'm being sissy, soft at times.

I use women's fragrance. As what Martin Nievera said during an interview, "the essence of a man, is a woman's scent." Not just because I want to 'captivate' women, but because I find women's fragrances more 'pleasing' to my senses, not like the men's body spray I used before.

I hate loose shirts. I have a tall, slender body (people would joke on me as a 'walking stick'). And for me, wearing loose shirts would make me look like a walking kite, worse a walking flag. But I also don't use body-fit shirts, the one that would make it hard for me to breathe.

I have never had a girlfriend. Human as I am, I also get attracted to other people, even to males. But not because of 'love' or something, but because of my own imperfections. I tend to get 'jealous'(admire if you'd like it) of the other guys having those muscular muscles and Adonis-like faces. How I wish I was also gifted with the same. And it stays there. That's just it. And perhaps I'm misunderstood...

I did court Charlene, our secretary, last year, but I was rejected. I don't know. There were also occassional flings, infatuations, all of which have died of its natural death.

I don't know. I'm such a hopeless romantic. I tend to fall on the 'love story' part of anything I see, be it anime, teen flicks, even horror films. There are even times that I wish my love story would go like this, like that. Sigh. Perhaps my 'soulmate' (though I don't really believe in destiny, since its the choices you make that shapes your life) has not arrived yet, or whom I have already met. It's uncertain. Mailap pa sa akin ang pag-ibig (love is so rare to me).

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I don't know.

Why can't they accept me as to who I am? I thought they have known me long enough to understand me. But I guess I was wrong. Surely it wasn't their intention to belittle me, put me into shame, but just an effort of clarifying information, of setting the record straight.

But I can't help it...
I'm starting to doubt myself as to who I really am. I can't sleep, thinking of all of this. Perhaps I should get professional help. Perhaps they can help me know the inner me, the real me.

Still the question remains...


Do I really know myself?

It's Time to Move On

It’s been a week after the 2007 Invitation Program for South East Asian Students to South Korea program officially drew its curtain...

Yes, it's now back to reality. Back to the old student life. Back to school, the classroom, the professors, the classmates, everything. In fact, we'll be starting to work on our thesis. Luckily, the discussion's are not that far away yet, so I can still catch up. No, I don't have ill feelings with coming back to school, it's just that I find the ten days quite short, and fast. Ironic, isn't it?

I still feel sad. There is not one day when I don’t think of everyone. Every time I think about the good ol’ ten days and the forty-plus bunch of people from South East Asia converging together, memories start to flash back. There has been countless times of me scanning through every photo I’ve taken and reading through all the e-mails I’ve received. Doing these quenches my thirst.

Even at school, I tend to be mentally absent. But I can’t control it, and there are even times where I succumb myself to the thoughts, and consequently losing my attention on my professor’s discussion.

I really tend to be very emotional, but I’m not crying. I’ve already shed tears...

But wait...what's happening to me?

I should not be wrenched up! Like what Elizabeth told me, I should cheer up and move on. Yes, it’s inevitable for me to feel this longing, but I shouldn’t let my emotions get the best of me. Instead of being pulled down, I should consider this parting an inspiration, a goal, to fuel my engine. This is not yet the end of the world. I’m still optimistic that we will meet again in time. And to further that possibility, I must study hard. I should do best in school. Education can greatly aid me upon realizing my dreams.

It’s been a week after the 2007 Invitation Program for South East Asian Students to South Korea program officially ended...

Goodbyes may have been sad, times may have flown fast, but it should not deter one to stand again. It's now time to move on...

For my case, I should start moving on.

And It's Over

The ten-day study tour is officially finished.

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It's amazing how time flew. It's still fresh on my mind what happened upon my arrival at Incheon Int'l. Airport. The compay of all but strangers, the jitters of the "first-time", the inevitable jet lag and culture shock -- all these and more still live in my memories.

I am (and is still) most of the time alone, going a distance away from others, the type that would prefer solitude over company, a one-man team. Though I was not that close to everyone, I have deeply rooted for everyone's companionship and the experiences we've shared together. I only have ten days, and I should not spend most of it being blue and aloof. This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience, and I just have to make the most out of every minute of it.

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I already miss everyone. My, everyone's been passing emails lately, and I am to read every one of it. I guess everyone feels the same way.
I miss seeing my roommate Syam in his traditional Islam clothes and praying to Allah. He made me understand more the Islam culture.
I miss the markets and the souvenir shops, and how we would go around looking for a better bargain.
I miss going around the maze-like streets of Korea, and getting lost on a few encounters.
I miss everyone singing "Vietnam Ho Chi Minh" and "Kom Se Ma Ri", not to mention the Pansori.
I miss seeing everyone fall asleep in the bus. Heheh, glad I took pictures of it. :p
I miss our minigames in the bus: "What Happened!" and the beginning of the "Mistah Lee" jokes. :D
I miss eating kimchi, the sticky rice, and the hot pots (reference to Melvin's mail I've read). Being served everyday on the restaurant made everyone go "uh"; some don't even taste it. But now, my tongue is craving for the cuisine, especially bulgogi. :(
I miss Korea and all the places we've visited.
I miss my homestay family. I hope that Mom, Dad, Alex, Grandma, and Hosoo are doing fine, also to their daughter, who just arrived from Canada last Tuesday.
I miss taking pictures. I may sound corny at times taking pictures of inanimate objects as flowers, bamboos, even stones and fishes, but it soothes my craving, and it makes me happy. Of course, who will forget the group pictures!
I miss Miss Sharon, Mr. Lee, Mr. Kim, and the whole NIIED crew. Though at times I poked fun on Miss Sharon's diction and guffawed on every Mistah Lee joke and amazed as to how Mr. Kim would pose for a picture, but these guys are the best. Thank you for providing us all the amenities we needed, and for bearing with our silly ways. Thank you for giving the chance for people like us to converge and engross in cross-cultural exchange. Thank you for all the activity as a whole.

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I hate goodbyes. Many times I've seen people walk away and disappear off of my sight, and it has never been easy. Ery, Dean, and Alvin have to leave earlier than the pack (since they arrived a day earlier than schedule), which makes me the only Filipino left for the last few hours of the trip. I have already lost my inner circle. Everyone will be doing the same.

I am the last one to depart, of all the people. That means that I have to see everyone leave one by one, which is not very easy for me to take. I tried not to cry, but it can't be helped. I've already shunned the stereotype that "men don't cry." Of course, we cry, but we just try to keep it away from others, in fear of ridicule and loss of manlihood. But ridicule and loss of manlihood (among other things) were the least of my concerns...

Even on the last few minutes of departure, and upon boarding my flight, I forced myself not to cry. I've already shed tears, and I shouldn't be that sad, since we can still see each other again in time. But the tears just fell down...

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Now, I'm back here in Cebu. Back to reality, back to my old life. I now have dumps of school works to finish, and lectures to catch up. We'll be starting to work on our thesis tomorrow.

It may have been over, but the memories I've shared with everyone will remain in me. I'll share this wonderful story with friends, family, and to anyone who wants to listen to it. We made friends out of complete strangers, met different kinds of people, been to interesting places, shared thoughts in life, that all-in-all made this ten-day escapade a memorable part of everyone's life.

I'm hoping that everyone can still keep in touch. Even though we weren't able to be together for a longer time, and that we were most of the time with our inner circle, I hope that everyone will extend their reach and make more new friends.

In time, we'll be seeing each other again. It may be in a different place and time, and it may not be all at once, but I'm crossing my fingers...

Til then. Annyong higa seyo.

Finally, It's Time

This midnight (it's 12:50am, GMT +8), I'll be flying direct from Cebu to Incheon International Airport, South Korea. After months of waiting, the study tour is now to commence.

This will be my first time outside of the country, so I'm really terrified, and excited. I don't know; it's like a whirlwind of emotions in me. I can feel my heart palpitating, and had occasional deep breaths. I've been into a lot of trouble with the preparations, from the passport to my personal belongings. I'm tense, but I'm also jittering. Finally, I'm going to ride an airplane! It's a childhood dream-come-true. :)

This is also the first time that the school will be sending a student overseas to participate in a study tour. A lot of people (especially the President) are expecting a lot from me and from what I gain from the tour. This makes me more insecure. I don't know if I can represent the school well. Will I represent the school well? Can I get away from my inferiority complex?

I wasn't able to bid goodbye to a lot of people, even to my friends. I don't know if they have ill feelings towards me, but that is almost certain. How I wish I can compensate my shortcomings. To my friends, I'm sorry if I wasn't able to bid a formal goodbye. I'm not neglecting you or anything. It's all my fault.

To all the people I've caused a lot of trouble, I humbly ask for an apology. Sorry if I've been hasty these past few days. Blame me for not preparing my things beforehand. This is one habit that I am, and I should, change.

But even with that, I wish to thank all the people who had provided me aid, most especially to Ma'am Maris (our Dean), for giving me more that what I needed, and to Mr. Chiu, for recommending me for the program and for believing in my potential. There are so many of you to name, but you know who you are, and I thank you for all your help. My best regards also goes to all people who have one way or another brought me into this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

I won't be seeing you for ten days, nor I will be posting in this blog nor visiting the webspace. I don't know if they provide internet access during the whole tour. Pray for me.

Farewell...for now.

Toilet Misadventures: The Second Coming

I never thought that my toilet misadventures would have a sequel! This happened yesterday, and here's how it went...

I was in school yesterday to participate in a pictorial for the school's magazine. I guess it has something to do with my study tour to Korea, that's why I got picked as an image model. O_O;

I have to admit: I am not that photogenic. I'm really not confident with how I look in the photos. I wonder when the camera will be kind to me. :D

During the break, I hurriedly went to the male's comfort room. Just like last time...to defecate. This time, no vending machines with toiletries, just plain gushing water. Uh, I don't have any choice.

I was already halfway of the ritual when suddenly, a bunch of girls came inside the male's comfort room! I didn't really know how many they were, since I didn't see them. But they were so noisy and guffawed out loud (are girls really like this?), so I can hear them from the rear cubicle I'm sitting.

I can still remember one of them saying, "It's still vacation anyway, so seldom uses this toilet. But just to make sure, let's just lock the door.". They have no idea who was with them! One of them was so fumed while blabbing that the nearest ladies' room was locked, and that they're really in a hurry. Well, it's vacation time, and there are only a few comfort rooms open. Another one was complaining on how the men's room was stinking, and that the cubicles were dirty. Well, I can't blame them. <_<;

Now here's the exciting part: the ladies were using the cubicle right next to me! I can hear every detail of it. Oh no. I kept silent and even paused for a moment. I was the blind witness as they were taking turns of the cubicle.

No, I didn't look at them. I'm not a pervert. Some would have taken advantage of it, but it's definitely not my style. I respect people's right to privacy. I have to make sure that they won't find out that someone (of the opposite sex) is there with them, to avoid more serious trouble.

As soon as the coast was clear, I immediately went out of the cubicle.




*Sorry for the choice of words. I tried to make it as 'wholesome' as possible.*
*Sigh, when will this end?* :(

Monday's Fast Approaching...

Monday's fast approaching, and I have not prepared anything for the travel yet. My clothes, my personal stuff; nothing's been prepared yet. I am yet to look for a token for the Korean family I'll be staying with for the whole duration of the tour.

The family wants to buy me some new clothes, seeing that I only have a few ones at my disposal (mostly college/school shirts, and are so used up). My jeans are starting to fade as well. Worse, we don't have a travel bag for me to use.

That's why my elder sister applied for a loan in PAG-IBIG a week ago. She instructed me to come back to PAG-IBIG today to follow-up her application. The whole family was hopeful that finally (she actually applied for this loan almost a month ago, but was held because of unmatching signatures) the application would be approved. Everything will be good to go once we have the money...

But, one should never count the chicks before they're even hatched.

It was still under processing, and I have to come back there tomorrow. I'm already worried even before, and now here it comes. What if the application will be rejected again? Where will we get the money?

And if the application is to be approved, what if it arrives after Monday? What use is it for?

The school gave me a $200 allowance though, but I would like to spend it for souvenirs and other petty expenses once there in Korea. But if left with no choice, then I'll take it.

I'm crossing my fingers for some good news tomorrow...