Sigh.

New and exciting things had happened to me these past few days. Forgive me if I’m not updating my blog often; frugality in expenses. Times that I feel tired typing about these things again – procrastination-cum-laziness. Yeah, it would’ve been nice if I wrote them on a journal, but I’m too lethargic in doing so.

I don’t know what will happen to my blog. Though not necessary but recommended, blogs should be updated everyday, but there are cases that stop me.

I seldom log to the internet now – no resources to finance such. I have a very huge debt to Tiya Gina, the owner of the internet café I’m patronizing. I’m having a hard time paying my dues.

I’m not earning my own salary; I depend so much on my monthly allowance, which I find meager as time passed. Mama shoulders me with the petty dues I have, but still she depends on my Ate Mikit’s salary for Mama is unemployed. Alas, even Ate Mikit is having a hard time making both ends meet, and even had her own share of credit borrowing. Plus, she’s shouldering my other sisters’ schooling.

My credit account is almost two thousand pesos. And looking at my financial standing (based on the aforementioned paragraph), it may take some time before I shell out my dues.

Good thing that Tiya Gina understands me. I never heard a word from her yelling at me and never hurried me as to my responsibility. That’s why I feel more ashamed of myself; I abstained myself – I will not surf the net unless important. I minimized playing online games, chatting with my online friends, checking my Friendster account and of course, updating my blog.

I should’ve done this in the first place. My debt would not have grown at this height. Yes, I’m willing to pay my dues (and will never run away from it), but then, no matter how one is eager, but he himself doesn’t have the capacity to do so, still it goes in vain.

In a matter of time I noticed a change in Tiya Gina’s approach to me; she seems to be ‘upset’ every time I log in. Though she never says a thing, but I can feel it. I can’t blame Tiya Gina; it has been a while since I remitted. I usually remit 500 pesos a month, but then my dues should shoot up again, thanks to me.

“Well, I’m able to pay a fraction of the total cost, then I think it would be alright to go overboard again…”

I have no one to blame but myself, on why I have let myself swallowed up by my vice – committing debt but cannot commit payment.