Misadventures...in the Toilet!

This happened last Friday, but it's so hilarious that I want to post this. :D

*Disclaimer: This may sound a bit offensive, but lightly.*

Upon going home from Danao City to Cebu City, I really had this rumbling feeling on my tummy. After hours of storage, my wastes are rampaging, like a volcano about to explode.

"Warning, warning, the self-destruct bomb is to explode in five minutes!", I thougth to myself. I'm just so glad that the bus arrived in the terminal in the nick of time.

I hurriedly went inside a mall's comfort room. I didn't bring any spare paper with me. Yes, it's totally gross, but I use ordinary paper to *ehem* wipe my *ehem* ass *ehem* after defecating. Lucky for me, the mall has vending machines that supply toiletries (tissues, sanitary napkins, etc.).

But...

Drats, and there was no vending machine on the men's toilet! And guess where it was? You bet. It's inside the ladies' room.

Gosh, and I am to get inside there? LOL, and I am to apply a lot of 'kapal ng mukha' cream.

"Ahm, excuse me, but can I get a tissue paper?", I asked a lady, while pointing on the vending machine. Please, don't think that I'm a pervert. I'm really just in a hurry.

To my relief, she gave me the permission.

The ladies' room is just a few steps away from the men's, so I was able to get inside the cubicle in no-time.

*I don't need to enumerate how I pooped, right? LOL*

But it doesn't end there. There is still more to it.

As I was almost finished defecating, I opened the tissue paper pack. To my surprise...it contained a woman's sanitary napkin!

What the f***? I am very sure that I picked the tissue paper option on the vending machine! I can never be mistaken, never!

Now comes the dilemma: should I use the napkin (err?), or not? Ahahah, and I was laughing with myself. I had no other choice, unless I would opt to use my hanky. Hell no.

With my eyes closed, I * with a sour face* wiped the napkin on my ass. There ends the bowel ritual, and of this horrendous experience.

I checked the vending machine upon getting out of the cubicle. And etched on it was TISSUE PAPER, not SANITARY NAPKIN. Gosh, the toilet maintenance should fix that.

That was one laugh trip, I tell you. But I hope it will never happen again.